I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
