eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
