Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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