Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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