you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
