sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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