You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
