I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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