you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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