Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
