Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
