So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hippo gnu deer
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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