I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have feelings that need drinking.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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