Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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