at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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