Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
