The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
