some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
