im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
