is your mom at the bar?
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
