Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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