they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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