then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
