i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
