Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
