He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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