her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
