he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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