I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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