if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
