i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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