I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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