I got chris browned last night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's shark week go big or go home
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
