He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
