All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, beer. Big fan.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
