Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
false alarm. still invincible.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
