No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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