It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
