So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
