It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
