do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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