I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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