The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
