It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
