Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
