so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
