hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
