Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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