I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
