I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
high people should be assigned attendants
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
