Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
