belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
