if you like me you must not know who I am
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
