I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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